Boy's restroom

Roki whimpered softy and wiped at his eyes a tiny bit. He sniffled and tried his best not to look at anyone, unsure how they all thought he was acting. Even he had to admit he was acting a bit young but he wasn't sure what else to do.
The very thought of Mika his new friend being mad at him had him thinking the boy would yell at him or hit him like his father. 'Least Toru doesn't hit me but... but I dunno... Nii Nii is nice right?'
Roki swallowed and looked up at Mika, not really noticing how much taller he was then him until just now. Was teh older boy a adult too? Just like his father?
Suddenly he saw the boy raise his hand and roll his eyes before patting him on the head. Roki jumped a bit closeing his eyes. Was the boy really upseet with him like he had suspected?
"I am not mad at you, Roki. You are overreacting again. Please stop crying."
Roki sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his ashirt sleeve. The boy didn't look okay. Really in Roki's eeys he looked annoyed by him. He saw a faint blush crose the boys cheeks and backed away a bit. Was he getting angry or was he really embarressed? Or maybe even both. The boy reached up and rubbed his eyes, causing Roki to take another quick step back.
"Look Roki, I'm not mad, please stop crying. It's just a word too mature for you to understand yet and it would sound a bit... rude. So I better use the plan name I came up with, okay? I'm not mad, just a bit... confused. That's all. So, are you gonna stop crying now so we can go to class soon and later in the afternoon show this boy around?"
Roki hugged his hands together, holding them close against his chest. He was so confused and unsure what to do. Mika sounded and looked a bit upset with him in the boy eyes, yet he was saying he wasn't and still wanted his help showing the new boy around.
"But..." Roki whimpered softly, more tears spilling from his eyes as he tried to force them back with no avail. "...I dunno how... I'm trying not to but... But you seem so upset..."
Suddenly Roki heard the girl who had bumped into Mika move around a bit. Slolwy he looked up still crying a bit, as he heard he speak in a very soft voice.
"Oh....uh... So...uh... This isn't what it looks like! See you....I guess....oh, um..I'm Hinami by the way... Um...maybe...you could show me around as well?"
Roki nodded slowly, turning his gaze to the ground in front of him. He struggled to control his tears that kept over flowing to more he tried to stop them. He opened his mouth, wondering what he could say to teh girl, but Abigail started speaking so Roki quieted himself and listened.
"Sure, we will get shown around school together."
Roki coughed a bit, rather bad really having working himself up so much. He covered his mouth wondering why he was suddenly coughing. Suddenly he gagged, almost throwing up and scaring himself a bit before he mangiged to get himself under control.
He looked up at Mika biting his lip a bit, still unsure what to do. 'Wonder if there's anyway to make him ot made at me. I mean he was kinda upset when we were in the nurses office too...' Roki let his thoughts trailed off as he remebered Mika had missed a few classes because of him. he was sure the boy was upset about that to.
Slowly Roki backed away and hugged himself tightly, edgeing towards the door. "...I'm sorry, Nii Ni- I mean Mika... I've done nothing but cause trouble for you all day..." He whispered, dagging his words out until he was just in front of the door.
Roki looked behind himself at the hallway before swallowing and looking back, tears still in his eyes yet he finally was able to hold them back. "I'll make it up to you, Mika. I promise." He said before bowing quickly.
After that he turned and took off running out of the restroom. He fled downt eh hall, tears flying out from behind him as he tried to think of what he could do.
He was sure Mika waneted him to act more like a adult, but he wasn't sure how he could do that. Being only just turned into a teenager and stuck at home, often screamed at or beaten. He wasn't sure how others acted his age.
Then it hit him. There was another person he knew very well, too well really, who he might be able to ask. He turned down another hall that led outside. If he remebered correctly Toru hadd gone towards the dorms. A girl in tow be Roki was sure she wouldn't mind sharing his brothers time.
Once thing Roki was sure of was that Toru wasn't going to be like their dad. If he walked in on him with a girl or boy around eh knew Toru would be clothed. The only time he had to worry about interubting something was when the boy was alone.
The though made him shutter a bit though. He found it really odd and kind of gross that his brother talked to himself so lovingly though. "Must be like a teenage thing. Oh wait I could actully speak to the other boy in Toru's mind instead of him. Yeah Toru was kinda weird earlier before I wet myself so I will speak to the other Toru~"
Roki giggled and wiped the last of his tears away as he ran out the school side door and into the sunshine.
He stopped and looked around until he found what he was searching for. Toru. Though he had a girl with him and looked a bit uncomfortable he was still there. "Toru!" Roki yelled rushing over to him. "Toru. I wanna speak to your boyfriend. Please?" He blinked a few times and turned towards the girl, bowing a bit. "Oh sorry that was kinda of rude of me. I'm Roki and I need my brother for a few seconds."
He smile innocently at her, before turning back and sitting down right next to Toru. He noticed the tiny blush on Toru's face and added quickly, not meaning anything bad by his words. "Is he teasing you again? I can wait if you have to go to your room for a minute. After all you only take a few seconds and your always a wot more agweeable, plus seepy, when you come back so I don't minds~"

‘’Oh....uh... So...uh... This isn't what it looks like!’’, the girl suddenly spoke and Mikazaru looked at her in worry, hoping she was doing alright. Because she had ran into the boy's restroom and just realized it. And she had been awfully quiet for a moment. ‘’See you....I guess....oh, um..I'm Hinami by the way.. Um.....maybe...you could show me around as well?’’
Mikazaru smiled at the girl, who he now knew was called Hinami, and nodded his head at her. Before he could say anything to her Abigail was the first to address her.
‘’Sure, we will get shown around school together.’’, he said and Mikazaru's smile grew; it seemed like the students could already get along pretty well. And he was going to show them around through school after today's lessons were over. He actually had to go home early today because of homework, but he couldn't refuse to show them around; they needed to know where to go when they had class or break. They probably hadn't seen every place of the school, yet.
‘’But... I dunno how... I'm trying not to but... But you seem so upset...’’, Roki suddenly said and Mikazaru looked down at the boy, a worried expression on his face. Maybe he had been a bit harsh towards the kid, a bit too agitated. He hadn't meant to make Roki feel sad like this. The kid seemed really guilty, yet he didn't have to be guilty over anything. Mikazaru had just been a bit of a bully towards him. But he had just been a bit annoyed.
‘’It's okay Roki, you don't need to be sorry, I'm sorry for-’’, Mikazaru said but it seemed like Roki wasn't listening to him. The boy cut him off as he started speaking again himself.
‘’...I'm sorry, Nii Ni- I mean Mika... I've done nothing but cause trouble for you all day... I'll make it up to you, Mika. I promise.’’, he said and he suddenly ran off, out of the restroom and into the hallway.
Mikazaru stood there staring at first, confused by the sudden change of thought with the boy. He kept staring until Roki was out of sight, and after that he finally realized that the boy had run off.
‘’No Roki, I'm sorry! Wait!’’, he said but the boy was already gone. Mikazaru stopped in the doorway and stared again. After a moment he rubbed his eyes and sighed, turning around to look at Abigail and Hinami. ‘’I'm... I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't really know what happened there... But I guess he will be back soon. I hope.’’
He thought for a moment, before adding, with a weak smile this time: ‘’So after school I will show you around the school's building. Does that sound like a plan?’’

“NO!!!” A voice suddenly called from behind him. He didn't turn, he didn't care. He was worthless, what was the point in talking to someone who doesn't matter anymore, especially someone who breaks their promises to the person you like most in the world. As he thought about that his head drooped even more. In hurting himself he'd hurt Abigail, the person he didn't want to hurt. Then a child dressed as a girl dashed out of one of the bathrooms. Motomo didn't think anything of the fact it was a girl in the bathrooms with a boys voice, he just ignored that and listened to his, or her's, words. “P-pwease... Sir...”
“Don't do dat... pwease... no more... I don't wike it... It... it hurt...” The child said and all the boy did was look. It wasn't a stare at all but he just didn't know what to say, looking down at his wounds he began to slow his tears, no longer was he sad because of what he did. He was talking to someone, someone thought he was still worth talking to. Motomo didn't know what this child had been through, they may have seen it before but whatever made them so kind about it was obviously not really a good thing. Or they were just a kind hearted child.

The child then fumbled around in their bag, looking for something. He came out with some medical stuff and began to dress his wounds, at first Motomo didn't want it but then he realised that for once someone was going to help him. The child gently dressed his wounds and then put everything away, it didn't feel right but he covered his arms back up gently so not to ruin the handy work of the child.
"Thank you." He said in a kind tone. He would've said more but he didn't know what to say since he was confused of the child's gender, they seemed to be male but they were dressed as a female so he'd just wait until he found out. In whatever way shape or form.
“It's all okies. World not dat bads now ish it? You be okies and nu more cut arms pwease... I don't wike it... It scary...” The child said as they pulled Motomo down to their height and patted him on the head. This child was being so kind to him, so comforting and it made him feel better. He felt like he could go back now, like he could face the pain, push through and go back to the library. The child spoke so much sense, the world felt better now they'd helped him and Motomo now understood that it was scary for others to see that, but he already knew that. He couldn't just stop himself from cutting, he needed support from someone he trusted, he already knew about drawing the butterfly but he didn't have his permanent markers with him. Then the child left, Motomo didn't mind him leaving because he felt better.

Motomo got up and put his bag on his back, holding his cut arm straight down and not moving it, he then walked out of the door to the hallway, he wasn't ready to go to the library just yet so he just approached the two kids there.
"Thank you for your help back there, I'm Motomo." He said to the child who helped him, he smiled at them before standing back from the two children in front of him; he didn't want to disturb whatever was going on.

Shun sat there in the restroom, hidden in one of the stalls. He cried a waterfall of tears, his pants and shirt soaking as he had his face hidden in his arms, cheek resting on his knees. His eyes were red from crying, almost as red as the blood that dripped down his arms. He probably had been sitting there for a few minutes already, but he cuts didn't seem to heal; they kept on bleeding.
‘’Shit, I probably made them too deep...’’, he thought to himself as he felt the stinging pain in his arm, though the feeling was slowly going numb. Biting his lip he stared at his arms, head slightly lifted now. He had done something Hikaru hated. He had hurt himself while Hikaru had told him not to. If only he had been strong enough to just end it all here. Shun wasn't sure if he could live on like this. He had cheated on Hikaru and hurt the boy. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. Shun actually now realized he loved the boy more than anyone in the world, and he could not live on without him. Well, he probably could, but he sure as hell didn't want to. ‘’I'm a terrible little shit... I ignore Jeames and Airamyst, I cheat on Hikaru, after that don't want to be around him anymore and even though I know I'm guilty I won't change it... I'm too afraid to tell Haya what I really feel for him because I'm so ashamed of myself... I always mess things up... Why am I even still here...?’’
Suddenly there was this sound, a sound Shun knew all too well but at first confused him slightly. And the same sound came for a second time not long after. Shun grabbed his phone and looked at it, realizing it were text messages. Two to be more exact. One from Haya, that was the first one he saw. He hadn't seen the name of the second yet. If he had, he would have read that one first.

‘’Hey Shun, I'm worried about you... are you okay? If you want to be alone that's fine, but I'm always here if you need to talk. We can see each other or you can just talk through text message if that makes you feel better or safer. Just let me know, please... I care about you.

Love, Haya’’


Shun swallowed. He didn't want to talk to her at all. She was the last person he wanted to talk to right now. Not because he hated her but because he felt so extremely guilty. Because if he really loved Hikaru more than her, then he had to tell her someway or another that he needed to leave her. And Shun being innocent and scared, was afraid he would hurt her feelings. So Shun ignored her text and went over to the second text, which appeared to be from Hikaru. Shun's eyes widened and he immediately opened the text, reading it quickly.

‘’Shun... I'm sorry for hurting you... sorry for trying to force you to be something your not... Sorry for making you think you had to be with only me... Sorry for... for making a huge mess after you said you didn't want to and being a baby about it... Oh and sorry for being... being so weak all the time... But I wanted to let you know also... I love you and I only want what's the very best for you... Apparently it's not with me tho so... So this I guess this is goodbye... Thanks for the only good memories I ever had and don't cry when I'm gone... I want you to be happy... Always...
Your Best Friend Hikaru’’

The text was so off, the text was so different. Shun had never had a text from Hikaru before, not a text like this. He bit his lip, tears filling his eyes again. He had a terrible feeling about this. He had a terrible feeling something was about to happen. He had no idea why Hikaru had sent him a message like this, he had the feeling Hikaru was going to do something bad, something terrible. Shun had to respond, he just had to.
‘’Hikaru, why are you saying this...? It's not goodbye, we can still work things out... I'm sorry we ended up like this, it's all my fault... Hikaru please don't do anything stupid... you're my best friend but you're also more than that. I love you Hikaru, I don't want anything to happen to you... I really love you and I'm sorry for ever cheating on you, I was afraid, I was ashamed of myself and Haya came out of nowhere and I realized I had missed her but... but I love you more, I really do... Please, please don't hurt yourself, please come back to me... I love you a lot, okay?
Kisses from Shun’’
He sent the text message and hoped for the best. Burying his face in his arms again he continued to cry, even more than before, as he waited for a response.

Shun waited with impatience for a response, tears filling his eyes as it seemed to take forever. He clenched his phone firmly in his hands, too afraid to miss a message if he would put it down for only a second. Shun bit his lip as he sat there with bleeding arms, wrapped firmly around his legs, knees pulled up to his chin. His back rested against the toilet, as he sat on the floor. Shun kept on staring at his screen, waiting. And then suddenly his phone's screen lit up, and there was an incoming call. The call was from Hikaru.
‘’H-Hikaru!’’, Shun whispered under his breath, shocked yet excited as well. But he was also very scared to answer, afraid he would be yelled at. Or just afraid because he didn't know what he should say. But nonetheless he answered, and he heard Hikaru speak on the other side of the call.
‘’T-Takeru..? I-I'm so sorry... I-I'm s-sorry Takeru... I... I d-didn't mean t-to... I j-just...’’, was the first thing Shun heard, and once again tears rolled down his cheeks. He wiped at his eyes, wanting to stop crying, but that was hard.
Shun wanted to say something back, but all of the sudden Hikaru started to speak louder, it sounded like he was screaming, sort of. This scared Shun and the boy kept his mouth shut, crying silent tears as he listened to Hikaru's words. The boy didn't seem to notice he was screaming in a way, and he spoke without barely taking any breaths in between.
‘’I'm sorry Takeru! I didn't mean to interrupt you and I know you really like that other girl and I'm sorry I'm so disgusting and I didn't mean to try and kill myself with a train it just all happened so fast and I didn't know you love me back and I don't know if you still do but like! I... I love you so much and... and I dunno what I would do if I ever lost you... I love you too... so very much... and I dunno how to stop it... I'm so sorry about Czech and Haya but... but I only want you... forever...’’, he said and at his last words Shun swallowed. Hikaru turned silent and Shun too stayed silent for more than a minute. However, he kept the call going. He wasn't exactly thinking for any words to answer with, he was just staring at the ground with the phone pressed to his ear so he could hear Hikaru speak when the boy started again. But Hikaru too seemed to prefer to stay quiet at this point. So Shun finally forced himself to speak, more tears leaving his eyes as he did so.


‘’Hikaru... did you really just try to... did you really...?’’, he forced out and he swallowed again, not wanting to think about Hikaru trying to kill himself. The thought was just too terrible to bear. And Shun knew that Hikaru's actions today were all his fault; Shun was to blame. He had to apologize and make things right, he had to. ‘’I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I cheated... I just didn't know anymore what to do and I love you both and I just don't know anymore...’’, Shun said, this time sort of screaming himself. He could no longer keep back his tears; they flooded out lazy crazy, creating stains on his pants and shirt and dropping to the ground.
‘’I'm so sorry I hurt you and left you... I just don't know anymore what I want, I'm so confused... Please come back to school so we can talk, please...?’’